The Most Unlikely Conversation
by Ankha
Summary: What you never thought you'd see.....something scarier than the dark lord rising....if you saw it, you'd run hiding for cover....It's Voldemort with Dreadlocks! A very unlikely conversation between Dumbledore and Voldmort.


A/N: Okay when you read this you're going to kill me, I'm sure. This little conversation was the by-product of me and my friend being really, /really/ bored in class.

  
  


The Most Unlikely Conversation - Dumbledore & Voldemort

  
  


WARNING: Extreme OOC.

  
  


Disclaimer: I will never own Harry Potter.

  
  
  
  


Dumbledore: Tom. *inclines head slightly*

  
  


Voldemort: Albus. *inclines head /very/ slightly*

  
  


Dumbledore: One question: why are you always after Harry?

  
  


Voldemort: I have no idea, when you get to be like me, your obsessions are /very/ odd.... *thinking how crazy this old coot is*

  
  


Dumbledore: *mutters under breath* And they say /I'm/ a few beans short of a full can.

  
  


Voldemort: *hearing the mutter* What was that you old git?! 

  
  


Dumbledore: You heard me you slimy snake! To think I taught you when you were a student!

  
  


Voldemort: You were always a worthless teacher, and an even /worse/ headmaster! You...you...wrinkled old fool!

  
  


Dumbledore: *puffs up indignantly* Look who's talking about career choices. You kill and torture people for a living!

  
  


Voldemort: But, but *in a whiny voice* it's /sooo/ much fun! *croons to himself softly* 

  
  


Dumbledore: *backs away slowly* Riiiight. *raises wand and whispers softly* Petrificus Totalus* 

  
  


Voldemort: *hears the spell and blocks it* Anyhoo, that's not what I'm here for. *pulls off hood quickly to reveal his face surrounded by ...dreadlocks*

  
  


Dumbledore: *eyes get really, /really/ wide* Oh my LORD!

  
  
  
  


Voldemort: /Well/, do you /like/ it? Huh, huh, huh!? *smiling brightly and jumping up and down like a three year old*

  
  


Dumbledore: Uhh....uhhh...*watches as Voldemort continues to bounce up and down* Stop that! You're acting like a three year old.

  
  


Voldemort: But, but, but...do you like it? 

  
  


D: Yes I do as a matter of fact. Could you tell me who did it? I'd like them to do mine. *runs fingers through hair* I think it's about time for something different.

  
  


V: *wipes forehead* Oh, I'm so glad you like it! I was beginning to get worried. Anyhoo, I called the Death Eaters together for a meeting one day, and decided to have everyone do everyone else's hair. Well, at first they looked at me funny, but they finally warmed up to the idea, and started with my hair. Well, I absolutely loved it so they fix it about once a week... *walks around Albus, inspecting his hair* Yes, you do need a change, and dreadlocks would look great on you! *smiles brightly* 

  
  


D: When can I sign up? Do you think a little color would be in order? 

  
  


V: Well, you don't really need to sign up. I just need to know when and what times you're free. And color, would be good. We can put beads in your hair also. What color do you want? *pulls out a pad of paper and pen, starts jotting down notes, and nodding his head at everything Albus says* 

  
  


D: Red with gold streaks and tips. Beads would be nice. Maybe a few feathers. *grins suddenly* Let's just go for a hippy look!

  
  


V: *jots that down quickly, puts in a few side notes as well* That's great, that will look /so/ good on you! Now, when and at what time will you be free to do this because it will take a few hours to do your hair.

  
  


D: Ummm....*checks datebook* How does right now sound? 

  
  


V: Ohhh.... I don't know.... at the present moment in time most of the Death Eaters are off on a recruiting mission. They should be back tomorrow, how about noon tomorrow? We can have lunch first, then do your hair!

  
  


D: *shakes the dark lord's hand* Sounds good. See you tomorrow. I have to go send out someone to stop your recruiting. Bye! *waves merrily as he strolls away* 

  
  


V: Alright! Don't forget, noon tomorrow! Bring any friends! *waves merrily* Bye! *smiles brightly , then looks around, pulls on his hood, and calls a Death Eater meeting, they need to get everything ready for tomorrow!*

  
  
  
  


A/N: I know, I know. How could I do this to them? Well it all stems from the fact that Kit let us do her hair in dreadlocks.... Please don't kill me, it was just for laughs. A review would be nice though. *looks pleadingly*

  
  
  
  



End file.
